we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
