I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
