Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
