i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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