My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
