I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
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I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
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no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart