oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
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he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..