I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She's allergic to latex.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!