so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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