new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
