You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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