I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
