We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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