When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Actions speak louder than pants.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I enjoy the company of your penis
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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