The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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