You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
