Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
