I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
