2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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