Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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