I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
