im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to summon your inner elephant
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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