don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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