Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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