yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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