M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
