I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
