If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
