whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
