I need help removing her.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
