Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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