I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
