Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
