My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
