Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
