if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
