Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
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To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
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Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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