I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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