Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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