It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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