you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
