Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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