had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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