gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
