One girl and one boy is just not enough.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
