Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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