she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
