Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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