you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
