I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize