Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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