Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
