it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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