remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
