Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
