Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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