Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
