my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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