Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
