oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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