She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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